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Blog of a Joker - The Iceman

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So why do they call me The Iceman?
 
Well, 'The Iceman' is my real life nickname and is something that was founded by my beloved colleagues in the police. Back in the big freeze of 2012, I was on the night shift and anticipated below freezing weather. As this was going to be the case, I decided to be the smart cookie and ensure I was wearing all my thermals, gloves, hat and even a snood! We had a briefing before the shift of course all 6 persons were waiting for me in the briefing room, as I was running 5 minutes late (luckily those guys love me!). It was only once I was in the changing room did I put all my winter gear on, then I check my watch and realised I was behind schedule. So instead of putting my police gear on and delaying the process even further, I decided to walk into the briefing room looking like this chap -
Posted ImageJust imagine him wearing a woolly hat and gloves!
 
Now can you imagine 6 bobbies all in full uniform in a professional dark briefing room and me dressed like this?!?! Well as predicted, everyone almost choked on their winter coffees and began the process of taking pictures and crying with laughter. Once the briefing had finished ( and the laughing had made them lose their voices) I returned to the locker rooms, to put my gear on and get ready for action. During the briefing we were warned about driving very carefully when on response in the very icy conditions the night before had left us.
 
I was single crewed and began my shift in the lovely panda. At this time it was around 01:30am on a tuesday night, the streets were ghostly with not a soul in sight. I was driving along and noticed a grey car with all of its windows tinted. The number plate was grey on black, which raised my suspicions. I ran the car through and it turns out there was no insurance, no MOT and the driver who owned the car had their licence revoked in 2009. That car should clearly not be on the road, so I informed my colleagues that I was about to attempt a stop on the car. As I got behind it and turned on the blues (and reds!) it decided to speed off. I knew this was going to happen and because of the weather this made for a very risky pursuit which needed clearing with the boss. Once I got the go ahead to continue, my nearest backup was around 15 minutes away and so I had the task of chasing this car and providing commentary, all whilst ensuring this ice did not send me spinning off the road.
 
Backup eventually caught up with me and now there were 4 additional roads policing units behind the vehicle. We were pursuing the car along the cold and frosty back roads of Ross on Wye with nothing but open fields surrounding us. Eventually the vehicle decided to take the wrong turn and headed North up a completely ice bound road which looked like this - Posted Image
 
The car ended up spinning 360 degrees into a hedge, and the occupant decided to flee the vehicle and escape on foot. With 7 officers behind him, all in high vis jackets with cold steam blowing from all of their noses and mouths shouting stop, we went on a mad foot chase! With me in the lead (being the fittest ;)) I slipped over and went sliding on my belly down the road, with no possible way of stopping myself! However this unfortunate fall proved very valuable as I went plowing into the legs of the very leggy and slow suspect! I had slid approximately 45 yards before stopping myself by hooking my arms around the suspects legs! Of course all this happened in front of my loving colleagues, who expressed their amusement when we got back to the nick. The oldest ( and not very wisest) officer of the bunch took to naming me as the units 'Iceman'. Since then the name has stuck and  that ladies & gents is why I am now known as 'The Iceman' !!!
 
So now you know me a little better, be sure to get as much enjoyment as possible out of this read!! ;)
 
 
Joker

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